Sunday, January 23, 2011

What is Love? Romance? Passion?

     Okay, my brain has taken on a new challenge today.  The challenge is this, what is love?  The dictionary definition is this "tender, passionate affection." A fine definition, but then again, many people come up with their own definitions of love.  Some poetic, some straight to the point.  When asked what is love?  My husband wasn't sure how to put it in words, but after a few moments (and a little pestering) he finally responded with..."Love is when you would do anything for the one you love.  The person you love, you would give your life for, and you always see the greatness in the person you love."  Mark Twain said ""Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired."  Sophocles said, ""One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love."  All definitions are true.  The feeling of love is unique for each person.  No two people would define what they feel the same way.  I remember a movie I saw a long time ago.  The lead actress was discussing love, and she described it as the "can't eat, can't sleep reach for the stars over the fence world series kind of thing."  I myself can remember that feeling.  However, I do think it grows and changes over time.  In the spectrum of time, my husband and I haven't really been together very long at all, not compared to our parents who are both married 30 something years, or my grandparents who were married 50-60 something years.  We just celebrated our 2nd anniversary in August, but in fairness he was deployed for 9 months out of the year, and he travels often with the Army. 
     Some that must be hard I don't think I could do it.  Now don't get me wrong, my husband being gone is no cup of tea, I prefer him home with me, he is by far the best friend I have ever had.  Is our relationship often long distance?  Yes.  Does it make it hard at times?  Yes.  I do think that our love grows stronger though because of the distance.  For example, there are times when he drives me up a wall, and I am not a fool to think that there aren't the same amount of time that I drive him up a wall; the difference is, when all you have to tie you together is a phone; conversation and communication becomes key.  It is hard to ignore feelings and emotions when you can't distract each other.  All we have to stay connected in the distance other than our hearts is our communication.  There have been times we have both wanted to scream, but I must admit, when he is away a brief phone call of explanations and discussions.  Usually lead to I'm sorry's and I'll try harder...and the funny thing is, we do.  We do try harder, and often 9 times out of 10 those issues don't reoccur in the future. 
     Our love is strong, and stable, despite arguments.  We were brought together by a higher power and I am sure of that!  Someone was working to bring us together, and I know even in the hardest times, that he loves me as much as I love him, and that he will keep me safe and do anything to make me happy as I would do for him.  Yes, he can be a little rough around the edges sometimes, but then again so can I.  It is my belief that love can not be defined.  It just is.  Love is an inside feeling that only the lucky can feel.  It runs deep and it guides us through our life. 
     Now, along with love comes the romance and the passion, as children (young girls especially) the fantasy of prince charming on a horse is our first vision of the man of our dreams.  As we grow our image of "prince charming" go from a cartoon character to other fictional characters from movies and television and even books.  Sources that seem to portray not only the perfect man, but the perfect relationship by "The end."  The truth is, as much as we enjoy watching and reading about those romances...real life doesn't work that way.  In fact, real life is so much more than that.  I can predict just about every ending to every chick flick movie.  I can read a book and know the ending of the romance section before the point of the story as even taken shape yet.  In real life however, the spontaneity is so much better!  For example, when Doug was deployed to Iraq, on Valentines Day we sent me the most beautiful roses and a stuffed animal bear.  (I love stuffed animals!)  Valentines Day fell on a Sunday...Imagine my surprise when the delivery truck showed up with my beautiful flowers and bear, along with a box of chocolate and a beautiful card.  True unpredictable magic!  My husband will occasionally sneak up behind me in the kitchen, and spin me around and dance with me, just because.  A romantic night in downtown, fancy dress and 3 piece suit, The city grille and a stroll down the main street downtown just people watching hand in hand.  A long drive to nowhere just to see the sights.  Coming to bed hours earlier than the average person because I am tired, and he wants to keep me company as I fall asleep.  Yes, our romance is real, the passion is real, and the love is undeniable. 
     Love is ours to define.  Romance is ours to create as is passion.  If you are lucky enough to find the person who means the world to you then you need to be smart enough to hold on to that person and never let the mundane parts of life get in the way of what you deserve as a couple.  We don't...we argue, we talk it out, we move forward and the magic stays alive each and every day that we are both together and apart. 

I wish everyone to know that...Just living is not enough, one must have sunshine, freedomm, and a little flower.

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